“I’ve Never Felt So Loved”: Reflections from Awake’s Fourth Annual Survivor Retreats
“It’s really hard to express how transformative this experience was. I was able to encounter God and His love in a way I’ve never experienced before. It’s like the smoke was cleared and I was able to see God’s love clearly for the first time. My understanding of myself, the Church, and the world dramatically shifted. I’ve never felt so loved or happy as I did on the retreat and it’s only grown since then. I had accepted that the Church didn’t love or care about me, but seeing how many people contributed in different ways to making this possible was very overwhelming and helped me realize there’s a place for me and my woundedness in the Church. I don’t know how to express my gratitude.” —Leslie
Some of the retreatants and team members from our August retreat.
It was a summer of firsts.
While Awake is no stranger to summer retreats—this was our fourth year offering in-person weekend retreats for survivors—it was our first year offering two retreats! We held one retreat in July and another in August, allowing us to extend the invitation for community and support to more survivors from across the country.
As the newest member of the Awake staff, it was my first Awake retreat and my first time meeting so many incredible survivors in person! Of course, technology is wonderful as it connects us from all over, but there is something quite special about getting to spend time together in person.
As retreatants began arriving on Friday afternoon, it was a joyful surprise to see some arriving together after connecting at previous retreats or through other Awake offerings. It was equally a joy to see how the “old timer” retreatants welcomed the “newbies” who were attending for the first time. While Friday jitters could certainly be felt, it was a privilege to witness the community taking shape—old friends reconnecting and new friendships beginning.
The theme for this year's retreats was Nourished and Strengthened, with Jeremiah 17:7–8 serving as our key scripture for the weekend:
Our retreat team leaders for July.
“Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
And whose hope is the Lord.
They are like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream:
it fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
in the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.”
Throughout the weekend, we returned to the image of the tree planted beside the waters and considered what it means to be nourished and strengthened.
On Friday evening, we made space to lament and grieve what has been lost as a result of abuse. On Saturday, we turned our attention to nourishment and explored what that might look like for each of us. Throughout the afternoon, retreatants had several opportunities to seek nourishment in different ways, including art, physical activity, conversations, the Sacrament of Reconciliation, rest, and Eucharistic Adoration. On Sunday, we reflected on what strength might look like and concluded the weekend by imagining ways we might seek and find hope.
Both retreats offered time for small group discussion as well as individual reflection.
Opportunity for prayer and reflection in nature was a huge highlight!
The July retreat brought an unexpected element to the weekend: smoky skies from wildfires in Canada. While the poor air quality meant spending more time indoors than we had anticipated, we received the miraculous gift of clearer skies on Saturday afternoon, allowing us to offer several outdoor options. As one survivor noted, “It made the retreat that much more memorable!”
As someone experiencing an Awake retreat for the first time, I came away seeing why members of the Awake community describe these weekends as both holy ground and the highlight of their year. I witnessed the beauty of a space where survivors could be known, understood, and welcomed.
I could continue with so many details, blessings, stories, and moments of encounter from these weekends. Instead, I’ll leave you with these beautiful words from survivors themselves, who have graciously given permission for me to share their reflections with you:
“For a weekend, the jagged edges of my mind and spirit were consoled by the presence and offerings made by a truly dynamic, understanding and diverse community. I felt not just seen but known. The result was not more pain, or re-living trauma, but true palliation.” — Colin
“Every retreat I've attended has always held unexpected blessings. It is my prayer that every survivor of abuse by a Catholic leader can experience this retreat for themselves and the profound strength that comes from knowing you are not alone but that we can walk a very painful, dark, and lonely road with one another.” —A Retreat Participant
“I was in a very dark place before participating in the Awake retreat, and I left with a whole new perspective on this past year, and a newfound hope for the next steps on my journey.” — Rachel
"I was honored to be with the sincere, compassionate, and courageous group of survivors at this retreat. I felt humbled to be able to walk with them and share our healing journey. On retreat I was able to pause and pray in a safe environment where I received hope and direction in prayer and reflection on my experiences there for my continuing walk with Christ, my wounded healer. I found Him reflected in the faces and exchanges with and between the staff, the retreatants, priests, and the service staff at the retreat center. The accommodations themselves provide a nurturing environment conducive to healing. I was able to encounter Christ in the sacraments of the church as well as the holy Spirit's sacramental presence in the staff and participants in Awake's mission journey. I left the retreat refreshed and inspired to engage with my Lord in new and challenging ways. Thank you, Awake, for blessing me with gifts that I hope will overflow from my heart to all I encounter. " — Deborah
“I felt supported from the first pre-retreat Zoom meeting through the third such Zoom, through the rides given from inspiring volunteers, all throughout the weekend—and through the post-retreat ‘reunion’ Zoom meeting. THANK you to each volunteer and staff person (and donors!) who made this possible. It moved my healing forward by an important step.” — Mike
“Having a place to go, to physically show up and be, to know such a place exists, is a true blessing. Thank you to everyone who is with Awake doing some heavy lifting of such difficult matters.” — A Retreat Participant
At our first survivor retreat of 2026, one of our retreatants offered a beautiful reflection at the opening welcome session on Friday evening. Click here to read it in its entirety.
—Rebecca Dodge, Survivor Support and Engagement Coordinator
